How to Pick Up a Girl

There are plenty of people who are good at picking up girls...but they aren't good at explaining what they do. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're either destined to be good with girls, or you aren't. PICKING UP GIRLS IS A SKILL ANYONE CAN LEARN.

Steps



1. Girls are everywhere! Don't get sucked in to thinking that you can only find girls to date when you're out at a party or at the bar. They're on the street, in a store, in class, everywhere you go. Just go out into the world and pay closer attention.


2. Go talk to her! There's a guy named Mystery who came up with something called the 3 second rule. Pretty much, what it says is, if you see a girl you think is cute, three seconds after you think that, you should go up and start talking to her.


3. What to say. Guys are tripped up by this all the time. A good place to start is by using what's called a "neutral-opinion opener." What that means is you ask her a question about something that has nothing to do with you. It can be simple ("What do you think of this place?") or elaborate ("Did you see the fight outside? There were these two girls, and they were totally fighting over this guy...but the guy was really scrawny and wimpy looking...it was crazy..." but it really doesn't matter what you say.


4. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!! Girls (especially hot girls) get hit on almost every day, and they know why you came up to talk to them. Whoever this girl is isn't paying as much attention to what you're saying as she is to the way you're saying it (are you confident? comfortable? Are your shoulders hunched over, or back?) Do your best to appear comfortable, and she'll feel comfortable too. She's looking for a guy who is calm, cool, and in control...so be that guy


5. Do something novel. A really pretty girl has people telling her all the time how hot she is, how cute she is, how nice she is...and she's gotten used to it. If you become the next guy to come up and tell her how pretty she is, she'll appreciate the compliment, but she won't date you. I'm ***NOT*** saying to be mean...but you should be more casual. Make a little joke at her expense..not something huge or insulting (David DeAngelo would say something like "Wow, that's a big purse! Do you have a gun in there?" or if she's dressed up "I like your shoes...they look really comfortable") Not anything about her appearance, though..that's just mean.


6. Just be yourself! If you've ever asked a girl what to do to meet a girl, she'll probably say "just be yourself." You may think that means that if you feel nervous, and that you want to tell her again how pretty she is (for the 40th time) that you should...but that's NOT what she means. She means to treat her normally...almost like one of your guy friends. If you're at the bar, and she asks you to get her a napkin...she's probably just asking to see if you'll jump through a hoop for her. Don't do it! You wouldn't break your back to do that for one of your good friends...don't treat her differently!


7. Keep up the banter Once you're talking, keep it up. You may want to come up with some stories about you that are funny or interesting, or that display an interesting side to you. Try to not fall into the interview technique (asking things like: What do you do? Where do you live? Where did you go to school? If you're stuck, turn those interview questions into statements, like "You look like you're from New York" or "I bet you're an event planner")


8. Ask for her number! After a few minutes, if you're having a good time, cut things off on a high note, and ask for her number. Say that you're having a great time, but you need to get back to your friends (or whatever else you were about to do before you started talking to her). If she says she doesn't want to give you her number, you can joke with her and say that you promise to only call her 50 times a day, but that's all. You could also just get her email address (almost everyone has one, and is OK with handing it out, especially for a charming guy like yourself)

Tips



1. Practice! Start flirting with as many girls as you can...ESPECIALLY, at first, with girls you aren't all that interested in. The girl at the check out line at the store, the clerk at the gas station, the girl at the drive through window. Everyone likes to flirt, and you'll be getting better with each interaction


2. Don't take it personally There are times where a girl may be rude, or cold, or downright hostile. Don't take it personally. She doesn't know you...you just started talking to her. Also, some pretty girls are just mean to guys when they first walk up and start flirting with them....this is a defense from having been hit on so many times before. It's a little test to weed out the insecure guys who aren't worth her time. By the same token, though, if she's not interested...she's not interested. Find another girl.


3. STUDY There are a lot of brilliant people out there who can help you learn this stuff. Mystery of the Mystery Method, David Deangelo of Double your Dating, Lance Mason of Pickup 101 among many other very talented people. Find their tapes, books, CDs, seminars, or whatever you can get. There are also forums out there with advice for people on how to get better at this.


4. If you feel too cheeky asking for a girls number or email address after a few minutes try and find out what local bars she frequents - or where you might be able to arrange another 'suprise' meeting. This will appeal to her romantic ideals of a spontaneous, fate-like encounter.

Warnings

A lot of people, especially girls, don't like the idea of learning how to pick up girls. They think it's misogynist and cheap. There are pick up artists like this...but it doesn't have to always be that way. Those same girls (if they're single) are waiting for the right guy to sweep them off their feet...to charm them, and woo them and make them feel special and beautiful...and that's what you can do with this kind of information if you use it wisely.